I write on this to keep everyone informed of what our family is doing, (since I am horrible at keeping in contact with everyone!). However, I also document things because I don't write in a journal. I love the idea of a blog because it dates your entries as well as you can put pictures to go with each entry! Today's entry isn't anything but documenting! So feel free to skip it!
Yesterday, I called my obstetrician and told them somethings not right with me! In speaking to the nurse she says I suffer from "baby blues" as well as a little bit of post partum depression. The things I'm experiencing I can't really put it into words...but no matter how much I try to control them....I can't! Here is a checklist of things I am feeling.
"baby blues"
-elation and joy followed by sadness
-crankiness
-crying spells
-mood swings
"postpartum depression"
-changes in sleeping pattern (exhausted but when I can sleep...I can't...or can't stay asleep)
-withdrawal (i haven't wanted to talk when people call, I don't want people coming over)
-avoiding baby (i go through phases where I want her and want to be the only one to take care of her...and then the next minute...I want johnathan to come get her.)
Since I have a few of the postpartum depression items the doctor has prescribed Cymbalta. I'm not one who likes to take medicine...especially since I am breastfeeding Kynsley. However, I am not an emotional person and I know I'm worrying John as well as my parents and friends. Also since I can rationalize everything...and yet still can't change the gloomy feeling...I'm going to take it. They are starting me on the lowest dose and we will reevaluate in 3 weeks. From what I understand postpartum depression lasts about 6months to 1 year. Thank goodness! I want to enjoy this time as Kynsley is my last baby!!! I don't want to be crying all the time anymore!!!
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